Wheelchair Batteries

I volunteer my time building and fixing power wheelchair equipment for a sport called Power Soccer as part of a non-profit organization. I have had some luck finding used and donated sources for some parts, except for batteries. Wheelchair batteries are vital to compete in this sport, and a new set of batteries costs about 0. Are there any companies or organizations out there that would help?
I know precisely which batteries are correct, and I normally buy them online. I can’t find any local stores willing to give away or significantly discount their most expensive batteries. Any other ideas would be very welcome!

I’d like to share my story and see what you guys think about it.
I am from Eastern Europe, came to the US 3 and a half years ago with the invitation from my fiancée (now husband). Our dating was absolutely the best time of my life. I was coming here with the dreams of starting a family and settling down. I didn’t care that he was in a wheelchair, I was absolutely in love.
Problems began right after the wedding. The next morning after the wedding party my hubby told me that I owe him .000.00 for bringing me here and that I have to pay it back to him. He even spent the wedding party night hanging out with his friend drinking!
With time the situation got even worth. He’d get up round 1-2pm, without even saying “good morning” and then spend the whole day by himself. No matter what I tried to do to figure out the reason for such a sudden change in him, I failed. He would get really violent sometimes and whenever I would try to defend myself, he’d just blame it all on me. With time the situation got a bit better. I loved him and kept telling myself that this behavior could be caused by pills he’s on. I was hoping for a change along with his recovery. Sometimes he would start crying and asking me to forgive him all he did to me.

Also, when talking to his relatives there was never me in the conversation. He would always refer to us as “I”, not “we”. I didn’t even exist in the conversations between him and his relatives.
This Christmas I found out another surprise: he opened up a credit card under my name and completely maxed it out! He only dropped it on me because he was unable to make payments anymore! As I latter found out, all presents that he bought me were purchased with that card! Starting from Spring, almost every time we get in an argument he threatens to kill me. Last week it got serious and I called the police. He was charged with domestic battery and is now waiting for his arrest. Of course there is much more to the story, but just judging from this, do you think this is a normal behavior for a husband?
I lived in this situation for three years and would like to get a fresh opinion of the situation.
He keeps telling me that arguments happen between husband and wife, that this is all normal and that I’m crazy. He blames me for calling the cops on him and so does his family. What I had is a huge bruise on my arm, a shirt that he ripped off and a tape with him saying that he is waiting for a proper moment to kill me and my dog. I love him, but I just feel like he is using me and only wants money from me. I remember one time I asked him why he treats me like that and he said:"Because we don’t own enough staff together" (he meant house, etc)
Guys, I want to thank you all for giving me support and advice. After living in such a situation for three years, it’s really hard to tell weather it’s normal or not. You’re right about the counselling. And I already have one in mind. Last winter we went to Christmas party at his parents’ and his brother who was too drunk, pulled gun on me after his parents went to bed. So, it took me 2 weeks of counselling and resulted in a horrible rush on my right hand. So, I’ll be going back to her shortly, she really helped me last time.
I wonder if there’s anyone else in a similar situation? Thank you all!

Joke 1

A man goes to the docters and the nurse come in and he tries to joke with her and she said "Not a chance,I havent laughed in 15 years."
So the man says,"Alright."
So the nurse asks "What is the problem?"
So the man says "Just look" and he pulled down his pants"
The nurse saw his penis which was the smallest one she ever saw.it was the size of a AAA battery.
She started laughing and laghing.
about 10 minutes laster she stoped laughing and ask what the problem was with it.
He said "it’s SWOLEN!!"
All of a sudden she ran out of the room

Joke 2

A man named Pat likes to go to the bar down the street from his house.
one night he was drinking heavily when the bar tender said they were closing for the night and that he would have leave.
so he says aliright and stands up and falls down so he says dang ive been drinking to much so he gets back up and falls down again so he said screw it and started crawling to the door
he climbed up the door opened it and walked out and fell so he crawled to his house and climbed up the door and walks in and falls so he had to crawl up the stairs to his room
the next morning his wife came in and asked if he had a hard night of drinking and he said yes i kept falling and she said i already knew that and he asked how and she said u left ur wheelchair at the bar

Biscuit Cutter A.P. Ashbourne Super Soaker Lonnie Johnson
Folding Bed L.C. Bailey Bicycle Frame Issac R. Johnson
Coin Changer James A. Bauer Space Shuttle Retrieval Arm Wm. Harwell
Rotary Engine Andrew J. Beard Printing Press W.A. Lavallette
Car Couple Andrew J. Beard Envelope Seal F.W. Leslie
Letter Box G.E. Becket Laser Fuels Lester Lee
Stainless Steel Pads Alfred Benjamin Pressure Cooker Maurice W. Lee
Torpedo Discharger H. Bradberry Window Cleaner A.L. Lewis
Disposable Syringe Phil Brooks Pencil Sharpener John L. Love
Home Security System Marie Brown Fire Extinguisher Tom J. Marshal
Corn Planter Henry Blair Lock W.A. Martin
Cotton Planter Henry Blair Shoe Lasting Machine Jan Matzeliger
Ironing Board Sarah Boone Lubricators Elijah McCoy
Horse Bridle Bit L.F.Brown Rocket Catapult Hugh MacDonald
Horse shoe Oscar E. Brown Elevator Alexander Miles
Pacemaker Otis Boykin Gas Mask Garrett Morgan
Guide Missile Otis Boykin Traffic Signal Garrett Morgan
Lawn Mower John A. Burr Hair Brush Lyda Newman
Typewriter Burridge & Marshman Heating Furnace Alice H. Paker
Train Alarm R.A. Butler Airship J.F.Pickering
Radiation Detector Geo. Carruthers Folding Chair Purdgy/Sadgwar
Peanut Butter George W. Carver Hand Stamp W.B. Purvis
Paints & Satins George W. Carver Fountain Pen W.B. Purvis
Lotion & Soaps George W. Carver Dust Pan L.P.Ray
Automatic Fishing Reel George Cook Insect Destroyer Gun A.C. Richardson
Ice cream Mold A.L. Cralle Baby Buggy W.H. Richardson
Blood Plasma Dr. Charles Drew Sugar Refinement N. Rillieux
Horse Riding Saddle Wm. D. Davis Clothes Dryer G.T. Sampson
Shoe W.A. Detiz Celluar Phone Henry Sampson
Player Piano Joseph Dickinson Pressing Comb Walter Sammons
Arm for Recording Player Joseph Dickinson Curtain Rod S.R. Scottron
Doorstop O. Dorsey Lawn Sprinkler J.W. Smith
Doorknob O. Dorsey Automatic Gearshift R.B. Spikes
Photo Print Wash Clatonia J. Dorticus Urinalysis Machine Dewey Sanderson
Photo Embossing Machine Clatonia J. Dorticus Hydraulic Shock Absorber Ralph Sanderson
Postal Letter Box P.B. Dowing Refrigerator J. Standard
Toilet T. Elkins Mop T.W. Stewart
Furniture Caster David A. Fisher Stairclimbing Wheelchair Rufus J. Weaver
Guitar Robert Flemming ,Jr Helicopter Paul E. Williams
Golf Tee George F. Grant Fire Escape Ladder J.B. Winters
Motor J. Gregory Telephone Transmitter Granville T. Woods
Lantern Micheal Harney Electric Cutoff Switch Granville T. Woods
Thermo Hair Curlers Soloman Harper Relay Instrument Granville T. Woods
Gas Burner B.F. Jackson Telephone System Granville T. Woods
Kitchen Table H.A. Jackson Galvanic Battery Granville T. Woods
Video Commander Joseph N. Jackson Electric Raillway System Granville T. Woods
Remote Controllers Joseph N. Jackson Roller Coaster Granville T. Woods
Sani-Phone Jerry Johnson Auto Air Brake Granville T. Woods

American Music of Black origin
___________________

.Jazz
.Rock & Roll
.Hip Hop
.Soul
.Disco
.Rhthm & Blues
.Rag Time
.Techno
.Gospel

http://www.littleafrica.com/resources/inventors.htm
http://www.blackinventor.com/

It’s so small it’s laughable, i could count it on one hand

Biscuit Cutter A.P. Ashbourne Super Soaker Lonnie Johnson
Folding Bed L.C. Bailey Bicycle Frame Issac R. Johnson
Coin Changer James A. Bauer Space Shuttle Retrieval Arm Wm. Harwell
Rotary Engine Andrew J. Beard Printing Press W.A. Lavallette
Car Couple Andrew J. Beard Envelope Seal F.W. Leslie
Letter Box G.E. Becket Laser Fuels Lester Lee
Stainless Steel Pads Alfred Benjamin Pressure Cooker Maurice W. Lee
Torpedo Discharger H. Bradberry Window Cleaner A.L. Lewis
Disposable Syringe Phil Brooks Pencil Sharpener John L. Love
Home Security System Marie Brown Fire Extinguisher Tom J. Marshal
Corn Planter Henry Blair Lock W.A. Martin
Cotton Planter Henry Blair Shoe Lasting Machine Jan Matzeliger
Ironing Board Sarah Boone Lubricators Elijah McCoy
Horse Bridle Bit L.F.Brown Rocket Catapult Hugh MacDonald
Horse shoe Oscar E. Brown Elevator Alexander Miles
Pacemaker Otis Boykin Gas Mask Garrett Morgan
Guide Missile Otis Boykin Traffic Signal Garrett Morgan
Lawn Mower John A. Burr Hair Brush Lyda Newman
Typewriter Burridge & Marshman Heating Furnace Alice H. Paker
Train Alarm R.A. Butler Airship J.F.Pickering
Radiation Detector Geo. Carruthers Folding Chair Purdgy/Sadgwar
Peanut Butter George W. Carver Hand Stamp W.B. Purvis
Paints & Satins George W. Carver Fountain Pen W.B. Purvis
Lotion & Soaps George W. Carver Dust Pan L.P.Ray
Automatic Fishing Reel George Cook Insect Destroyer Gun A.C. Richardson
Ice cream Mold A.L. Cralle Baby Buggy W.H. Richardson
Blood Plasma Dr. Charles Drew Sugar Refinement N. Rillieux
Horse Riding Saddle Wm. D. Davis Clothes Dryer G.T. Sampson
Shoe W.A. Detiz Celluar Phone Henry Sampson
Player Piano Joseph Dickinson Pressing Comb Walter Sammons
Arm for Recording Player Joseph Dickinson Curtain Rod S.R. Scottron
Doorstop O. Dorsey Lawn Sprinkler J.W. Smith
Doorknob O. Dorsey Automatic Gearshift R.B. Spikes
Photo Print Wash Clatonia J. Dorticus Urinalysis Machine Dewey Sanderson
Photo Embossing Machine Clatonia J. Dorticus Hydraulic Shock Absorber Ralph Sanderson
Postal Letter Box P.B. Dowing Refrigerator J. Standard
Toilet T. Elkins Mop T.W. Stewart
Furniture Caster David A. Fisher Stairclimbing Wheelchair Rufus J. Weaver
Guitar Robert Flemming ,Jr Helicopter Paul E. Williams
Golf Tee George F. Grant Fire Escape Ladder J.B. Winters
Motor J. Gregory Telephone Transmitter Granville T. Woods
Lantern Micheal Harney Electric Cutoff Switch Granville T. Woods
Thermo Hair Curlers Soloman Harper Relay Instrument Granville T. Woods
Gas Burner B.F. Jackson Telephone System Granville T. Woods
Kitchen Table H.A. Jackson Galvanic Battery Granville T. Woods
Video Commander Joseph N. Jackson Electric Raillway System Granville T. Woods
Remote Controllers Joseph N. Jackson Roller Coaster Granville T. Woods
Sani-Phone Jerry Johnson Auto Air Brake Granville T. Woods

http://www.littleafrica.com/resources/inventors.htm

I had just purchased a 2002 chevy venture wheelchair van it only has 64000 kms. the previous owner never had any problems with the van, I just brought the van home and it started and ran fine but now that it is home it had to be boosted to start. Once boosted it ran fine again but would not start after sitting for more than 2 hrs. i do live where it is very cold but the van is always plugged in. i just replaced the battery and am still having the same problem the van has to be boosted to start any advice before i take it in again. One other thing when i try to start the van the lights and radio and fan still come on it just will not start.

Here are some things Black people invented…
& the WHITE man always try to take credit for everything!!!

Biscuit Cutter A.P. Ashbourne Super Soaker Lonnie Johnson
Folding Bed L.C. Bailey Bicycle Frame Issac R. Johnson
Coin Changer James A. Bauer Space Shuttle Retrieval Arm Wm. Harwell
Rotary Engine Andrew J. Beard Printing Press W.A. Lavallette
Car Couple Andrew J. Beard Envelope Seal F.W. Leslie
Letter Box G.E. Becket Laser Fuels Lester Lee
Stainless Steel Pads Alfred Benjamin Pressure Cooker Maurice W. Lee
Torpedo Discharger H. Bradberry Window Cleaner A.L. Lewis
Disposable Syringe Phil Brooks Pencil Sharpener John L. Love
Home Security System Marie Brown Fire Extinguisher Tom J. Marshal
Corn Planter Henry Blair Lock W.A. Martin
Cotton Planter Henry Blair Shoe Lasting Machine Jan Matzeliger
Ironing Board Sarah Boone Lubricators Elijah McCoy
Horse Bridle Bit L.F.Brown Rocket Catapult Hugh MacDonald
Horse shoe Oscar E. Brown Elevator Alexander Miles
Pacemaker Otis Boykin Gas Mask Garrett Morgan
Guide Missile Otis Boykin Traffic Signal Garrett Morgan
Lawn Mower John A. Burr Hair Brush Lyda Newman
Typewriter Burridge & Marshman Heating Furnace Alice H. Paker
Train Alarm R.A. Butler Airship J.F.Pickering
Radiation Detector Geo. Carruthers Folding Chair Purdgy/Sadgwar
Peanut Butter George W. Carver Hand Stamp W.B. Purvis
Paints & Satins George W. Carver Fountain Pen W.B. Purvis
Lotion & Soaps George W. Carver Dust Pan L.P.Ray
Automatic Fishing Reel George Cook Insect Destroyer Gun A.C. Richardson
Ice cream Mold A.L. Cralle Baby Buggy W.H. Richardson
Blood Plasma Dr. Charles Drew Sugar Refinement N. Rillieux
Horse Riding Saddle Wm. D. Davis Clothes Dryer G.T. Sampson
Shoe W.A. Detiz Celluar Phone Henry Sampson
Player Piano Joseph Dickinson Pressing Comb Walter Sammons
Arm for Recording Player Joseph Dickinson Curtain Rod S.R. Scottron
Doorstop O. Dorsey Lawn Sprinkler J.W. Smith
Doorknob O. Dorsey Automatic Gearshift R.B. Spikes
Photo Print Wash Clatonia J. Dorticus Urinalysis Machine Dewey Sanderson
Photo Embossing Machine Clatonia J. Dorticus Hydraulic Shock Absorber Ralph Sanderson
Postal Letter Box P.B. Dowing Refrigerator J. Standard
Toilet T. Elkins Mop T.W. Stewart
Furniture Caster David A. Fisher Stairclimbing Wheelchair Rufus J. Weaver
Guitar Robert Flemming ,Jr Helicopter Paul E. Williams
Golf Tee George F. Grant Fire Escape Ladder J.B. Winters
Motor J. Gregory Telephone Transmitter Granville T. Woods
Lantern Micheal Harney Electric Cutoff Switch Granville T. Woods
Thermo Hair Curlers Soloman Harper Relay Instrument Granville T. Woods
Gas Burner B.F. Jackson Telephone System Granville T. Woods
Kitchen Table H.A. Jackson Galvanic Battery Granville T. Woods
Video Commander Joseph N. Jackson Electric Raillway System Granville T. Woods
Remote Controllers Joseph N. Jackson Roller Coaster Granville T. Woods
Sani-Phone Jerry Johnson Auto Air Brake Granville T. Woods

ok before people flame me for "being racist" I AM BLACK. I have a list here but i was just wondering if I was missing any
Sani-Phone Jerry Johnson
Wrench John A. Johnson
Super Soaker Lonnie Johnson
Eye Protector P. Johnson
Egg Beater W. Johnson
Defroster Frederick M. Jones
Air Conditioning Unit Frederick M. Jones
Two-Cycle Gas Engine Frederick M. Jones
Internal Combustion Engine Frederick M. Jones
Starter Generator Frederick M. Jones
Refrigeration Controls Frederick M. Jones
Bottle Caps Jones & Long
Clothes Dresser John H. Jordan
Electric Lamp Latimer & Nichols
Printing Press W.A. Lavalette
Laser Fuels Lester Lee
Pressure Cooker Maurice W. Lee
Envelope Seal F.W. Leslie
Window Cleaner A.L. Lewis
Pencil Sharpener John L. Love
Fire Extinguisher Tom J. Marshal
Lock W.A. Martin
Shoe Lasting Machine Jan Matzeliger
Lubricators Elijah McCoy
Rocket Catapult Hugh MacDonald
Elevator Alexander Miles
Gas Mask Garrett Morgan
Traffic Signal Garrett Morgan
Hair Brush Lyda Newman
Heating Furnace Alice H. Parker
Air Ship (Blimp) J.F. Pickering
Folding Chair Purdy/Sadgwar
Hand Stamp W.B. Purvis
Fountain Pen W.B. Purvis
Dust Pan L.P. Ray
Insect Destroyer Gun A.C. Richardson
Baby Buggy W.H. Richardson
Sugar Refinement N. Rillieux
Pressing Comb Walter Sammons
Hair Dressing Device Walter Sammons
Clothes Dryer G.T. Sampson
Cellular Phone Henry Sampson
Urinalysis Machine Dewey Sanderson
Hydraulic Shock Absorber Ralph Sanderson
Curtain Rod S.R. Scottron
Multi-Stage Rocket Adolph Shamms
Lawn Sprinkler J.W. Smith
Automatic Gear Shift R.B. Spikes
Refrigerator J. Standard
Mop T.W. Stewart
Cattle Roping Apparatus Darryl Thomas
Stair Climbing Wheelchair Rufus J. Weaver
Polym. Water Reduction Paint Morris B. Williams
Helicopter Paul E. Williams
Fire Escape Ladder J.B. Winters
Telephone Transmitter Granville T. Woods
Electric Cut-Off Switch Granville T. Woods
Relay Instrument Granville T. Woods
Telephone System Granville T. Woods
Electro Mech Brake Granville T. Woods
Galvanic Battery Granville T. Woods
Electric Railway System Granville T. Woods
Roller Coaster Granville T. Woods
Auto Air Brake Granville T. Woods

I couldn’t stand being shut in so on Wednesday, I adventured out. My wheelchair made it to Walgreens but had to ask the manager to ask the city to do the side walk because my chair almost fell over and the chair is heavy. Got out of Walgreens and took the bumpy sidewalk to the busy intersection. I got half way accross and the chair quit going, got stuck in the snow. Two drivers pushed me to the sidewalk and left. The firetruck and suv’s went by going to a fire so I knew they would be back; An hour later, the firemen did come back and did stop to help. Embarassing so I did not tell them but the cord I thought came loose was the battery cord that I plug into the socket to recharge the chair. Those cute firemen had to stay in that cold weather until the chair ran and then they flagged down a handicapped bus to take me home. After unthawing, I laughe and so did my neighbors. Can you beat that one. Have fun with this.

i am trying to help my disabled mother find a mobility scooter that can be driven in the back of a car without the need to take off the battery or fold it. That perhaps could be driven in with a ramp at the rear of the car. She has limited mobility and is not able to use a wheelchair or electric wheelchair. Your help would be so much appreciated if not life changing as it means my mother would finally gain her independence. If you could point me in the direction as to finding a car model and the model of the scooter and would i need to have it road saftey checked? thank you in advance x

I’m looking for a DC power supply that plugs into a regular 110V wall outlet, and puts out at least 65A @ 12V, 90A max, or at least 32.5A @ 24V (not sure what the max amperage would need to be for 24V). It’s to power a hydraulic wheelchair lift that’s installed in my house. So far I’ve been using a car battery, but I’m tired of taking it outside to charge every few days. I got the specs from the manual, and I said 90A max because the local technician installs 90A circuit breakers on his when He installs in a wheelchair van.

So far I’ve had no luck with google, or ebay.
Getting a 120v motor…that’s an interesting suggestion. Any chance I could just swap out the motor, without having to do any other modifications?

I have just started a job with the largest employer and service provider in the UK. I started a job on 2nd September 20 hrs/week for 6 months fixed term. I am disabled and the Occupational Health Team did not clear me to start work because of this and I had to go through a rigmoral to prove that I am capable of doing the job (admin). They have only just approved me. Anyway, no one has been to the clinic (hint to which employer I work for) for a while as the crisis is not as big as first thought, so I ended up being seconded to another department. However, because of this delay (not my fault) I have been told that I have to work extra hours every week (unpaid) to make up the time lost, totally over 60 hours!
Yesterday, my electric wheelchair, which had been fully charged the night before, stopped working. I could not move anywhere and so was sent home. I offered to go get my spare wheelchair and carry on working, and also offered to ask my family to bring the chair and/or battery charger so that I could do a full day’s work but they said no – go home.
Today, I got told that I now have to work more hours to make up the time lost yesterday and that if it happens again I could be disciplined! My question – does this seem fair to you and is it discrimination under the Disability Rights Act? CAN they discipline me for having a faulty wheelchair or make me work extra hours to make up for THEIR procedures and ways of working?
I had charged the chair the previous night and honestly thought it had charged fully – as indicated by the charger itself. For some reason the charge went down REALLY quickly – as far as I am concerned I tried to be reasonable – tried to work all day. I offered to get my other wheelchair (I live about 10 mins away from the office) and then come back and work for rest of the day OR get my Dad to bring it to the office (quicker) AND I offered to take work home. There is even a wheelchair supplier over the road and I suggested that I went (IN MY LUNCH HOUR) to see if I could borrow either a charger or a spare wheelchair. I think I did everything I could have. Unfortunately, I cannot walk so move around otherwise so have no option but to do the above should my wheelchair (the equivalent of YOUR LEGS) fail me.
If anyone can think of anything else I could have done to resolve the situation – let me know!
Please just keep your fingers crossed that I am not SACKED because of a MACHINE!

1.Non stick Cellotape
2.Solar Powered Flash Light
3.A black highlighter pen
4.Glow in the dark sunglasses
5.Inflatable Anchor
6.Smooth Sandpaper
7.Waterproof sponge
8.Waterproof Teabags
9.AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
10.Fireproof Matches
11.Fireproof Cigarettes
12.Battery powered Battery Charger
13.Seatbelts for Motorbikes
14.Hand powered Chainsaw
15.Inflatable Dartboard
16.Silent Alarm Clock
17.A Pedal powered wheelchair
18.Braille Drivers Manual
19.Double sided playing cards
20.Ejector seats for Helicopters

1. Non stick Cellotape

2. Solar Powered Flash Light

3. A black highlighter pen

4. Glow in the dark sunglasses

5. Inflatable Anchor

6. Smooth Sandpaper

7. Waterproof sponge

8. Waterproof Teabags

9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators

10. Fireproof Matches

11. Fireproof Cigarettes

12. Battery powered Battery Charger

13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes

14. Hand powered Chainsaw

15. Inflatable Dartboard

16. Silent Alarm Clock

17. A Pedal powered wheelchair

18. Braille Drivers Manual

19. Double sided playing cards

20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

FOR ME TO MAKE MILLIONS?

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE IN MIND…
1. Non stick Cellotape
2. Solar Powered Flash Light
3. A black highlighter pen
4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
5. Inflatable Anchor
6. Smooth Sandpaper
7. Waterproof sponge
8. Waterproof Teabags
9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
10. Fireproof Matches
11. Fireproof Cigarettes
12. Battery powered Battery Charger
13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
14. Hand powered Chainsaw
15. Inflatable Dartboard
16. Silent Alarm Clock
17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
18. Braille Drivers Manual
19. Double sided playing cards
20. Ejector seats for Helicopters
I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START, OR WHICH I SHOULD CONTRUCT FIRST. SUGGESTION?

Last night, I had just come from a lovely dinner with gramps at the dining room table.. and went to wash my hair with some bengay. As I was cavorting up the stairs, I heard my gramps cursing loudly at his unibrow from the other room. I slyly creeped down the stairway, PEZ dispenser and duct tape in hand. My gramps was mumbling in his native tongue under his breath. I yodeled a barbaric cry, and suddenly from out the heating system came Grams in an electronic wheelchair. It was then that I lost my normally cool composure and flew into a fit of rage. I walked up behind her wheelchair and turned the switch to ‘off’ and took the battery out so she couldn’t escape!!!! She tried several times to accelerate.. but failed. I then threatened her with my PEZ dispenser, and duct taped her eyelid to the roof of her mouth. I looked over, and saw gramps terminate and crush his skull with a feather duster. I just don’t know what to do about my grandparents.. they’re so out of control. Any ideas?

I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS EARLIER TODAY AS I WALKED DOWN THE STREET ON MY WAY TO MY 3 MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR JOB. SUDDENLY FROM OUT THE SEWERS CAME A CRIPPLE IN AN ELECTRONIC WHEELCHAIR!!!! HE CUT ME OFF, AND SAID ‘DAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR’ LIKE A FARKING MONGOOSE. THATS WHEN I DECIDED I WASNT ABOUT TO TAKE ANY OF HIS $HIT ANY MORE!!! IT WAS THEN THAT I LOST MY NORMALLY COOL COMPOSURE AND FLEW INTO A FIT OF RAGE!!!! I WALKED UP BEHIND HIS WHEELCHAIR AND TURNED THE SWITCH TO ‘OFF’ AND TOOK THE BATTERY OUT SO HE COULDN’T ESCAPE!!!! HE TRIED SEVERAL TIMES TO ACCELERATE (HE DIDN’T KNOW YET THAT I HAD DEACTIVATED HIS CHAIR!!!!) FINALLY THEN I LOOKED HIM SQUARE IN THE EYES AND SAID ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS B!TCH!’. I EXECUTED A GOVERNMENT-BANNED FLYING NINJA KICK TO HIS THROAT!!!! HE FELL RIGHT OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR AND LANDED ON THE STREET!!! I SAID ‘IM SENDING YOU BACK TO THE GENETIC CESSPOOL YOU CRAWLED OUT OF’ AND I DRUG HIM INTO AN ALLY BY THE CORD ATTACHED TO HIS FEEDING MACHINE.
I COULD TELL THAT HE HADN’T LEARNED HIS LESSON YET SO I SHAVED HIS HEAD, THEN I PULLED OUT A DRILL AND CARVED A HOLE IN HIS HEAD!!!! NEXT I PULLED DOWN MY OVERALLS AND WHIPPED OUT MY 15 INCH SCHLONG OF ANAL AND VAGANAL DESTRUCTION. I SAID TO HIM ‘EVER BEEN SKULLFARKED, MONGOLOID?’ AND THEN I BEGAN TO COPULATE WITH HIS FRESHLY DRILLED SKULLTWAT!!!!!! I LITERALLY F*CKED WITH HIS MIND, AND DEVISTATED ANY CHANCE HE EVER HAD IN LIFE. AS I THRUST MY MANLY SHAFT IN ONE FINAL TIME, I PULLED A SPIKED BAT OUT OF MY BACK POCKET AND CRACKED HIS KNEES!!!! I WITHDREW AND LET HIM FALL ONTO THE GROUND. THEN I VOMITED ON HIS BRAIN THROUGH HIS SKULLHOLE AND SH!T INTO HIS FEEDING TUBE MACHINE AND FARKED HIS A$$ UNTIL IT WAS RED WITH SORENESS!!!! I LEFT HIM IN THE ALLY ANALY DEGRADED, HUMILIATED, AND USED WITH HIS RUMP EXPOSED, HIS PANTS AROUND HIS ANKLES AND COVERED IN PUKE AND SH!T!!!!!
IT WAS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER DONE!!!! AND TO MAKE A GREAT THING GREATER, I KEPT HIS WHEELCHAIR AND RODE IT THE REST OF THE WAY TO WORK!!!!!!

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

WANT TO HEAR MORE GREAT STORIES?
WANT TO TELL ME IM GOING TO HELL?

EMAIL ALL COMMENTS TO

gummy_smiles_fanclub@yahoo.com

ROTMFFLMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HMMM… WHAT DO YOU THINK???

A high school student who uses an electric wheelchair faces three misdemeanor charges for allegedly running over the toe of another student at school. Joshua Martinez told television station KDVR-TV Wednesday that he received a summons alleging assault, battery, and reckless endangerment for the incident at Rangeview View High School in the suburb east of Denver. Martinez said he does not remember the incident. Aurora police could not immediately provide additional information. A spokeswoman for Aurora Public Schools said she could not comment, citing student privacy. A police report obtained by the station quotes a school resource officer as saying Martinez sometimes had been reckless in operating his electric wheelchair, zipping around corners without slowing. Martinez told the station he uses the wheelchair, which resembles a mobility scooter, because of a form of cerebral palsy. He said does not go around purposely running over people

It was a movie (possibly a TV movie) in the mid-to-late 70’s about a man who was in some kind of accident that placed him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. But he becomes a vigilante when he wears a special (mechanical?) suit he creates that allows him to walk for brief periods (until the battery dies). I remember that there was a scene where the battery in the suit ran out and the protagonist almost suffocated in the suit until he was rescued by a street urchin named Larry, who pushed buttons on the suit randomly until the helmet opened up and allowed the protagonist to breathe.

Sound familiar?
Update: My parents remembered it, but they say it was not a movie but a TV show that wasn’t on for very long.

Useless Inventions

1. Non stick Cellotape

2. Solar Powered Flash Light

3. A black highlighter pen

4. Glow in the dark sunglasses

5. Inflatable Anchor

6. Smooth Sandpaper

7. Waterproof sponge

8. Waterproof Teabags

9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators

10. Fireproof Matches

11. Fireproof Cigarettes

12. Battery powered Battery Charger

13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes

14. Hand powered Chainsaw

15. Inflatable Dartboard

16. Silent Alarm Clock

17. A Pedal powered wheelchair

18. Braille Drivers Manual

19. Double sided playing cards

20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

Sani-Phone Jerry Johnson
Wrench John A. Johnson
Super Soaker Lonnie Johnson
Eye Protector P. Johnson
Egg Beater W. Johnson
Defroster Frederick M. Jones
Air Conditioning Unit Frederick M. Jones
Two-Cycle Gas Engine Frederick M. Jones
Internal Combustion Engine Frederick M. Jones
Starter Generator Frederick M. Jones
Refrigeration Controls Frederick M. Jones
Bottle Caps Jones & Long
Clothes Dresser John H. Jordan
Electric Lamp Latimer & Nichols
Printing Press W.A. Lavalette
Laser Fuels Lester Lee
Pressure Cooker Maurice W. Lee
Envelope Seal F.W. Leslie
Window Cleaner A.L. Lewis
Pencil Sharpener John L. Love
Fire Extinguisher Tom J. Marshal
Lock W.A. Martin
Shoe Lasting Machine Jan Matzeliger
Lubricators Elijah McCoy
Rocket Catapult Hugh MacDonald
Elevator Alexander Miles
Gas Mask Garrett Morgan
Traffic Signal Garrett Morgan
Hair Brush Lyda Newman
Heating Furnace Alice H. Parker
Air Ship (Blimp) J.F. Pickering
Folding Chair Purdy/Sadgwar
Hand Stamp W.B. Purvis
Fountain Pen W.B. Purvis
Dust Pan L.P. Ray
Insect Destroyer Gun A.C. Richardson
Baby Buggy W.H. Richardson
Sugar Refinement N. Rillieux
Pressing Comb Walter Sammons
Hair Dressing Device Walter Sammons
Clothes Dryer G.T. Sampson
Cellular Phone Henry Sampson
Urinalysis Machine Dewey Sanderson
Hydraulic Shock Absorber Ralph Sanderson
Curtain Rod S.R. Scottron
Multi-Stage Rocket Adolph Shamms
Lawn Sprinkler J.W. Smith
Automatic Gear Shift R.B. Spikes
Refrigerator J. Standard
Mop T.W. Stewart
Cattle Roping Apparatus Darryl Thomas
Stair Climbing Wheelchair Rufus J. Weaver
Polym. Water Reduction Paint Morris B. Williams
Helicopter Paul E. Williams
Fire Escape Ladder J.B. Winters
Telephone Transmitter Granville T. Woods
Electric Cut-Off Switch Granville T. Woods
Relay Instrument Granville T. Woods
Telephone System Granville T. Woods
Electro Mech Brake Granville T. Woods
Galvanic Battery Granville T. Woods
Electric Railway System Granville T. Woods
Roller Coaster Granville T. Woods
Auto Air Brake Granville T. Woods

now we are actually smart people…

It comes with free:

Non stick Cellotape
A black highlighter pen
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Inflatable Anchor
Smooth Sandpaper
Waterproof sponge
Waterproof Teabags
Fireproof Matches
Silent Alarm Clock
A Pedal powered wheelchair
Double sided playing cards

I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS EARLIER TODAY AS I WALKED DOWN THE STREET ON MY WAY TO MY 3 MILLION DOLLAR A YEAR JOB. SUDDENLY FROM OUT THE SEWERS CAME A CRIPPLE IN AN ELECTRONIC WHEELCHAIR!!!! HE CUT ME OFF, AND SAID ‘DAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR’ LIKE A FARKING MONGOOSE. THATS WHEN I DECIDED I WASNT ABOUT TO TAKE ANY OF HIS $HIT ANY MORE!!! IT WAS THEN THAT I LOST MY NORMALLY COOL COMPOSURE AND FLEW INTO A FIT OF RAGE!!!! I WALKED UP BEHIND HIS WHEELCHAIR AND TURNED THE SWITCH TO ‘OFF’ AND TOOK THE BATTERY OUT SO HE COULDN’T ESCAPE!!!! HE TRIED SEVERAL TIMES TO ACCELERATE (HE DIDN’T KNOW YET THAT I HAD DEACTIVATED HIS CHAIR!!!!) FINALLY THEN I LOOKED HIM SQUARE IN THE EYES AND SAID ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS B!TCH!’. I EXECUTED A GOVERNMENT-BANNED FLYING NINJA KICK TO HIS THROAT!!!! HE FELL RIGHT OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR AND LANDED ON THE STREET!!! I SAID ‘IM SENDING YOU BACK TO THE GENETIC CESSPOOL YOU CRAWLED OUT OF’ AND I DRUG HIM INTO AN ALLY BY THE CORD ATTACHED TO HIS FEEDING MACHINE.
I COULD TELL THAT HE HADN’T LEARNED HIS LESSON YET SO I SHAVED HIS HEAD, THEN I PULLED OUT A DRILL AND CARVED A HOLE IN HIS HEAD!!!! NEXT I PULLED DOWN MY OVERALLS AND WHIPPED OUT MY 15 INCH SCHLONG OF ANAL AND VAGANAL DESTRUCTION. I SAID TO HIM ‘EVER BEEN SKULLFARKED, MONGOLOID?’ AND THEN I BEGAN TO COPULATE WITH HIS FRESHLY DRILLED SKULLTWAT!!!!!! I LITERALLY F*CKED WITH HIS MIND, AND DEVISTATED ANY CHANCE HE EVER HAD IN LIFE. AS I THRUST MY MANLY SHAFT IN ONE FINAL TIME, I PULLED A SPIKED BAT OUT OF MY BACK POCKET AND CRACKED HIS KNEES!!!! I WITHDREW AND LET HIM FALL ONTO THE GROUND. THEN I VOMITED ON HIS BRAIN THROUGH HIS SKULLHOLE AND SH!T INTO HIS FEEDING TUBE MACHINE AND FARKED HIS *** UNTIL IT WAS RED WITH SORENESS!!!! I LEFT HIM IN THE ALLY ANALY DEGRADED, HUMILIATED, AND USED WITH HIS RUMP EXPOSED, HIS PANTS AROUND HIS ANKLES AND COVERED IN PUKE AND SH!T!!!!!
IT WAS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER DONE!!!! AND TO MAKE A GREAT THING GREATER, I KEPT HIS WHEELCHAIR AND RODE IT THE REST OF THE WAY TO WORK!!!!!!

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

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An electric wheelchair is powered by two 12 V lead acid batteries and an electric motor rated at a maximum output power of 1 hp. Each battery has an energy capacity of 600 W-hrs. The motor has an efficiency rating of 76%. Assuming that the batteries are fully charged, for how many minutes can the motor deliver the rated output power before the batteries must be recharged?
Lol yes this is homework, i got like 20 more too, but this one is messing with me.
Hey man, I got plenty more where they came from, if either of you guys are willing to help, and I got the right answer BTW it was about 73 minutes, So thank you both so much
yea i put in 73 and it said I was within 3% so it decided to give it to me, but you were probably closer

You Might Be A Handicapped Redneck If,,,,

* Any part of your wheelchair is painted cameo.
* You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.
* You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries.
* You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots, even though they’re hard to put on and you can’t walk anyway.
* You adjusted your headrest so it’ll stop knocking off your hat.
* You installed a gun rack on the back of your wheelchair.
* Your joystick [which does not live up to its name] is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer. tap, or similar item.
* You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.
* You have knobby mud tires – that never get dirty.
* You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck or hog.
* You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars!
* There is a ‘Harley’ decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair.
* You installed a CB behind or under your chair.
* You replaced your seat with a Barco Lounger.
* You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road.
* You named your chair ‘Bubba’, ‘Junior’, ‘Daisy’, or ‘Killer’.
* There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.
* You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or battery compartment of the chair.
* You, while in your wheelchair, ever made any roadkill.
* The accessories hangin’ on the chair weigh more than 1/3 what your w/c does.
* You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your wheelchair.
* You want to add a side-car or a ’sweet little trailer’.
* You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit.
* The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever gotten caught in your wheels – but you wear it anyway.
* You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they’re going to start making wheelchairs.
* You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang fuzzy dice from your chair.
* Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.
* You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "Now that’s a good idea!"